Regarding Michael Phelps, Marijuana, and Kelloggs

Who was the brainiac at Kelloggs® that decided to drop Michael Phelps, thereby alienating all marijuana users worldwide—the very demographic most likely to eat Pop-Tarts™ and late night bowls of Frosted Flakes™? You should never bite the hand you feed, if selling food is how you make your profits. If I were the president of Kelloggs®, that brainiac would now be Michael’s personal bong-filler and Pop-Tart™ toaster.

Seriously though, the reason there’s a big stink about this is because the powers-that-be don’t like it when Olympic gold medal winners or Nobel Prize winners (and their ilk!) are found to be pot smokers, because it blatantly flies right in the face of their very public assertion (asserted at public expense, no less) that marijuana users are losers, and therefore deserving of the intense and often barbaric persecution perpetrated against them and their families over the last 72 years and counting.

Kelloggs® should not be participating in this morally unjustified persecution. And frankly, a company that sells as much junk food as Kelloggs® can’t really claim any moral high ground.

If Michael Phelps, winner of 14 Olympic gold medals and holder of seven world records in swimming, isn’t good enough to be a Kelloggs® spokesperson, then I’m obviously not good enough to be a Kelloggs® customer. I will never buy another product from Kelloggs®, economy be damned. I’ll buy Chinese Frosty-Flakes first. If you feel the same, please call Kelloggs® at (800) 962-1413 and tell them so.

One last thing, to all parents; if you continue looking for athletes—or any other human beings—to be role models for your children, then you will be forever disappointed, because human beings aren’t perfect. If you want a great role model for your children, then be a great role model for your children.

Bill Allyn